Deep Blue

...........

2008-10-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

I have very little words to say

the overheard words are just a bore to write, to type, to read too...

does it ever rain in vomber though?

i have very few words to say..

a doppelganger : duplicate (german)

I saw a doppelganger with a face that was unlike mine.. with a heart that was so much alike

I think I met my doppelganer.

The Lost Highway

2008-04-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

The dead silence and the night is blind
My home perhaps lies far away
Road lies ahead and road far behind
My footsteps on this lost highway.

The cars and the buses are on a strike
No horns and roars do i hear
A lone ranger is on an endless hike
Bliss of solitude is all I bear.

No longer the street lamps are human slave
They don't burn their heart to show our way
Probably enjoying the ecstasy of the grave
While in darkness, I walk through the lsot highway.

Tonight I can live a dream to its depth
a dream that i had when i was young
Remembering the words of the ancient myth
I sing the glory of the vagabonds song.

Not a turn do I take , not an alley do i seek
Nor a friend to love, or a foe to hate
Enjoying the mysterious lush in the bleak
The darkness of night is my fate.

But soon upon the horizon as dawn arrives
and light slowly fades away the gloom
silently somewhere the enigma dies
ahead of me lies the world of doom.

Now I see the world from where i started
The usual traffic triumphing as ever
somewhere,somtime the lone ranger departed
as the lost highway was lost forever.

Caged

2008-04-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

She is digging the grave of her own.
She piles the bricks, without a moan.
Above she sees the pillars so strong,
She knows that they would last too long.

She smiles and builds up her own cage
She knows it, yet no trace of rage
The cage is a tide of their comfort zone
While her euphoria drowns, leaving her all alone.

And the moon was gone, adn the stars above --
And the tress where sat the little dove.
Above she sees the pipes so strong--
She knows that they would last too long.

Too long to demolish desires and hopes, to be lost
To burn them on fire and imprison in the unbitten frost
And the people laugh, harder than ever
The moon, the sky, brings them no pleasure.

Do they not dream to touch the sky?
She thinks as within the growing cage she lies.
Above she sees the wood so strong
She knows that they would last too long.

And as it rains, her eyes open wide
the nature she adores
The concrete, she knows, will soon hide
The leaves of the tree shall bear raindrops, no more.

Once and for all she rushes away from the crowd--
she drenches and screams her wails, out loud;
hear the echo for one last time,
But soon the echo was turned into a whine.

nowadays, to the passersby, the echo remains unheard
No time to stand and stare at the caged bird
Too busy to look through the building, so dull
For them its just " another brick in the wall"

~~~ 4.4.08 ~~~

Caged

2008-04-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

She is digging the grave of her own.
She piles the bricks, without a moan.
Above she sees the pillars so strong,
She knows that they would last too long.

She smiles and builds up her own cage
She knows it, yet no trace of rage
The cage is a tide of their comfort zone
While her euphoria drowns, leaving her all alone.

And the moon was gone, adn the stars above --
And the tress where sat the little dove.
Above she sees the pipes so strong--
She knows that they would last too long.

Too long to demolish desires and hopes, to be lost
To burn them on fire and imprison in the unbitten frost
And the people laugh, harder than ever
The moon, the sky, brings them no pleasure.

Do they not dream to touch the sky?
She thinks as within the growing cage she lies.
Above she sees the wood so strong
She knows that they would last too long.

And as it rains, her eyes open wide
pleasing her eyes, the nature she adores
The concrete, she knows, will soon hide
The leaves of the tree shall bear raindrops, no more.

Once and for all she rushes away from the crowd--
she drenches and screams her wails, out loud;
To hear the echo for one last time,
But soon the echo was turned into a whine.

And nowadays, to the passersby, the echo remains unheard
No time to stand and stare at the caged bird
Too busy to look through the building, so dull

----- 4.4.08 ------
For them its just " another brick in the wall"

~ Secrets ~

2008-04-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

The silent whispers of the examination hall.
sometimes the teacher scolds, out loud,
as quiet as a library or noisy as shopping mall,
but pindrop silence when the principal is around.

A "tell me this" , a "tell me that" ---
A dry throat with two shining eyes,
tugging the shirt or a pat on the back,
One answer is solved, while another arise.

When the often the murmur is heard--
and the teacher asks " whats wrong?"
"I was asking the time" ,you lie to hide
But do another great deed before pretty long.

and finally when you coem out of the hall
a smile adores you face, with all answers right
Teacher wlaks up adn says ," could you answer all?"
You nod with a smile, keeping the secret inside.

[during the hindi examination if 2nd terminal.... i do not have much of those secrets but a little do i posess too].

As I lay dying

2008-02-29T05:07:00.000-08:00

Knock kNock..... on the door of heaven
and the door is yet to open
Finally, one more step to go
Out as the last breath I blow
But is this right? I think
Is heaven the right place? I blink
As i lay dying...............

i can listen to the desires of the deaf
And for what the mighty sea craves
I can hear the song of the dumb
i can fell the sorrow of the numb
I can see the dark in sunlight
That tiny bit of wrong in the right
I can know why the moon shines at night
To help the lovers get out of sight.
i realise in life what a blind seeks
He seeks for lush in the bleak.
banging in my ears the cry of an angel
What lies behind that door to hell?

Sounds of guns. Blasts. death.
But no tears will anyone shed.
Not lives, Not souls, Not tonight.
Tonight the bulleets are killing just the human in me.

knock knock.. on the door of heaven
and the door is just to open
The last step and I'm going
out as the final breath I'm blowing
With the last thought i leave things apart
With the last blink My eyes are shut.
as here i lay ----
DEAD.

new year dawns down

2007-12-31T21:40:00.000-08:00

New year is here.. with new hopes new resolutions new thoughts.
And there stands beneath a tree a young couple holding hands and making promises
To stand by each other , forever ..... together.
Off in the green meadow, though it is scarce these days
the young children playing and giggling of nothing..
It is smae for them.. as was eysterday, today is another enw bright fresh day... and ntn else..
And down the lane on this latest bike, theres the guy next door..
made a silent oath not to smoke again, hiding in the dark..
and here i am.. sitting here and typing all these...
my resolution?...
to be here and keep typing.... for everyone else to be there and keep living there lives..

2007 ....

2007-12-28T00:53:00.000-08:00

I can see till the end of this highway
so calm so silent.. as it has never been before
By the time I reach the other end
2008 will be knocking at the door.

everyone, from the mysterious lane, where the darks dwell
from the smiling children in the icecream parlour
Till the olds and the lads in the park, silently breathes --
" It's gone again " , in a mere whisper.

FRustrated

2007-12-27T04:11:00.000-08:00

YEs, I'm frustrated...
I am sick of hiding the truth.. i can't. I keep on smiling but late at night, as i try to sleep witht he pillows wet I feel i'm losing my confidence.. I"m not bold enough to say..
I feel guilty.. why why why why? i keep repeating again and again and again..
and when u get the result of ur neglection ur, i guess, nowhere..just one more aimless person roaming around.
And i forgot, how to have fun.. this is making me way mroe clumsy than ever. I have to say..
I do.. bcoz, this.. frustration will kill me otherwise...... really..
2007 wasn't too good.. but jesus why..??. i can't even cry.. tonight..

~~~ sohini ~~~~
" don't you cry tonight, coz theres a heaven above" --- is there really?.. help me to speak and deal with this plzzz... plzz help some1. please...

Numb

2007-12-17T04:04:00.000-08:00

this is dedicated to my friend progna and some1 whom i never knew..
" the-guy-who-did-not-want-to-survive",....

"Never say never again
will i be able to keep that promise?" -
I wonder if I can say this ever again.
I don't want to take this journey.

Because I know,
Not anymore will the mountains be as highas they used to be
Not anymore , when i touch the snowI'll feel that chill in spine
Not anymore will there be a campfirewith you and me ,
maddening over the vodka..Not anymore....

But you will exist.
Don't worry, you're always safe in my mind.
And in the end, when i walk down the whirling roads of ra bangla...
Just cherishing a hope
In the tiny core of my heart
to feel your last breadth in the gentle breeze
to hear the echo of your last soung
In the hills n' mountains, about to freeze
Knowing that they are not waiting for me anymore..

I shall make a silent promise, in the silence of nature
Because, I know, promises are to be kept
" what ever I do, where ever I be
I shall never say never again"

blowing in the wind

2007-12-09T02:42:00.000-08:00

The wnaswer is blowng in the wind!

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Existance - [Unanswered questions - Part II ]

2007-12-04T22:35:00.001-08:00

Unveiling the mysteries of life
But I always get stuck in one of them
Why do I exist? Why do I survive?
For the sorrow and pain , whom should I blame?

I live , I breathe my hopes and dreams
All my thoughts are preserved in me
The quieries and questions have come uptothe brim
But the answer is something that I can't find.

At times as I stare at the dark ceiling
What is existance? ,I seem to wonder
Is it the hope in me?- the love, the feeling?
Or is it the power to be happy and enjoy grandeur?

If not the whole, but something did I learn
From all the thoughts covering my mind,for awhile
Existance is nothing but a little concern
To doubt it's very reality and remain futile.

~ december 5th, 11.30 am ~

Lost - [ Unanswered questions - Part I]

2007-12-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

It was hindi exam and i wrote this down in the examination hall!...

I stand here at the edge of reasons,
And I see the time passing by -
The birds fly away with the change of seasons.
But I still stand here and ask Why?

I want to know the reasonf of me being alive
Alive in the burning summer and freezing winter
All through my life i'll do nothing but strive?
I keep thinking as I strike the guitar!

At times when I write I seem to get lost-
And confused with words In ma mind
Why am I writing thin? at what cost?
This answer I may never find!

Careless within myself, stupidity in my vein
Irresponsible at times, filled with thoughts
re-arrange me till i'm sane
What I started with?... sorry, I forgot!

5 years down the line

2007-11-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

5 years from now

...what will happen to me?

where will I be?

I just simply don't know!

Mayb I'll b studing in some clg.. mayb in kolkata mayb In india ( I"m not going outta india at any cost) .. I donno

Mayb I'll b pursuing ma career... but what?.. I donno..

Mayb Ill be having a bunch of frnds , mayb a bf even.. but who ? i donno..

The firends I ahve now.. will they remain in college..?.. mayb .. maynot b...

Mayb Ill b living my life... but will it b they way I wnat it too?.. I really donno...

2007-11-22T00:58:00.000-08:00

The road has ever gone and gone

down form the door where it begun

Now far ahead the road has gone

And I must follow if I can

Pursuing it with eager feet

until it meets some larger way

where many paths and errand meet

And whither then? I cannot say

~~~ J. R. R. tolkein~

swapno --- ek chotto golpo!

2007-11-21T21:57:00.001-08:00

Rastar pashe darie cheleta
shunte pacche koto hashi, koto thatta, koto kotha
hathe tar bhikkhar jhulita
porone tar pant, r chera shirt ta.
chokher konai ek fota jol
karur ki shomoy nei tar dike ek bar fire chawar
na, nei, karon?.. karon she ratsar pashe khudro ek bhikari
prithibita jar kach theke kere nieche shob anondo
jibon take bhadhyo korecheee ----
tai tar harabar kichui nei, kicchu naa...
Tobe, ekdin sheo swapno dekhechilo, hain dekhechilo she..
boro howar swapno...koto iccha joma kore rekeche moner konai..
shegulo bujhi jomai hoe roilo!

garigulo rastay hush kroe chole jai,
aha omon ekta gari jodi tar hoto...bhabe r pran ta kede othe tar
koto kihcui na korte parto..
shei garite kroe she chole jeto shob naam na jana onchole, porir deshe
tarpor... tarpor she shekhane ghurto, onek bondhu korto..
ice cream kheto, football khelto.. r shob kichu korto..
jaa oi boroloker chele meyera kore... shob... shob kichu
tar ekbar onek fuchka khawar shokh hoechilo...
ekta na -duto na.. oenk gulo fuchka..
shei shokh tar ajjo meteni...

hotath tar shamne lal alo, onek lal alo
hat te hat te kokhon je she rastar majhkhane chole esheche ..ter o paini..
alota puro tar gaer opor chole ashee...aawaz ta
kromosho dure chole jacheee...
dinta ondhoakr hoe jacche, kintu ekhon to shobe dupur...
chole jacche she , tar swapner jogote...
ebar jabei, jabei she.. ekai jabe....
chae na she ei prithibi, chae na ei jibon
jekhane she kebol peyeche odohelaaa...
kedechilo she, khoob kedechilo ekdin...
byartho hoechilo bole..koi, keu to asheni...
kintu ajj, ajj she ek klanto pothik, khub klanto..
swapnoi take diechee anondo..
tai bhrukhyep na kore swapnokei korlo she shongi..
tobe, keu ki take mone rakhbe ei prithibite?..
nah, hoyto na...
karon..?... karon she chilo rastar pasher khuddroo ek bhikari.

~ i was inspired by an incident so i wrote it down...~

THE NEGLECTED

2007-11-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

The teardrop of the sky fell upon the cradle of pain ;
Dreanching my eyes, filling with agony
Seeking for love has made me insane,
The music has lost it's symphony!

And i cry in the night, just try to hold on.
No one can hear I'm all alone.
All I was want is someone to care ;
That I even exist, in this filthy world of affairs.

But now its time for me to go where I belong
So, I'm writing this last song.
Calling me are my fate and destiny;
The silence of grave is waiting for me.

~~ LEt it go~~~

Weird

2007-11-14T04:26:00.001-08:00

enrique has never been in my favourite list. But today i was listening to this track called " little girl" by iglesias and you know i was kindda blown away... I mean it just stirred mee.. the tune and the lyric.. both... !

My first hindi shayeri OK!! hehe

2007-11-14T04:15:00.000-08:00

Ajj bhi tere liye baethi hu iss raho meein
Ajj bhi tere liye asu ate hain meri nigaho mein
Ajj bhi tadapti hu tujhe pane ke liye meri baho mein
Ajj bhi, Ajj bhi, teri yadein basein hain meri aaho mein

~~~~~ Trish ~~~~~

Scream

2007-11-13T05:08:00.001-08:00

Hey, you , you and you... listen to me... because you have to! I don't want any mroe ppeople to coem to me and say I'm a freak... I know it already...
I'm screaming and I'm dreaming..... and I wnat you to shut up for ocne in your life and actually listen to me.... I have got something to say... why is no one listening to me?... I'm standing in this crowd but there is no one aroudn to hold my hand,... the dusky breeze blows by... it sweeps of all the happiness out of me... I am such an optimistic person... but ppl do change right?... I don't wanna change... changes.. very common thing... I donno what I'm typign even... is there any end to this agony.. its just stupidity and nothign else.. BUT why?

Scream

2007-11-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

Independence

2007-08-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

"Independence "
~ the 12 letter word means a lot to every indian. 60 years back on this very day India was declared free. But how much does today's youth know and feel about independence? Is it just another chapter in the history book. Is It few more boring dialogues on how everyone sacrificed their lives. No, It is not.It is about freedom. It is about being proud of who we are.

Today if we go to usa or uk we can boldly say I'm an Indian. We don't feel ashamed of our skin.But sometimes We are still criticised or left aside because we belong from a third world country. We however, cannot match with the superiority of the blondes. India's future can be made brighter if today's youth think they can do it. we need to take a right turn.

" They did it when they were imrpisoned and broke free. Now its our turn. Chak De India"

And paying my ardent respect to all those who gave their lives , their families and countless sacrifices for us to stand where we stand now.. I, sohini, am ending my words. Maybe I myself won't follow or do every possible thing taht i typed..... but today I promise myself that I won't let India to be a loser anymore.

" We are strong . we are powerful and lets show it to the whole world . Now, is the right time to work"

Harry potter and the deathly hallows

2007-07-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

people say harry potter is rubbish and its just horrifying...r they right?.. i don't know and nor do i wanna... my experience so far has been the ebst ever......
when i was first saw that this is the Last book of the hp series i was just stunned......
i have never been able to tell anyone what harry potter means to me. one more day and it's all over.. all the craze, the madness, the attraction , the wait...............................its over!!!

20th aug 2004 :-
it was mt 11th birthday.. i still remmeber when my uncle got me the first copy of Hp.. It took me one whole year to read that whole book. and i didn't even njoy much.... but me and harry we started our preteen life together....

20th aug 2005:-
another bday and another boook... By this time i was a startign to like harry potter. It was maddening.. just madening...and at the end of this book i was a fan

december 2005..
hp and the prisoner of azkaban.. was in my hands... i was jumping on the couch...'it was really awesome...

Time went on and with in next year i had completed all the five parts...

den on 16th july 2006.. came out hp and the half blood prince...that was another rocking boook! It made me cry!

I remmebr my cosuin say" sohini, my next year when ur 13.. u'll no longer be as mad as ur now over hp... "... guess u were wrong... '

i never stopped beign mad.. i just stopweed showing it!

I was inlove with harry potter and i still am!

~~~ and i here i am , at the age of 13, too grown up for fictions and much matured, still when i see my best friend leaving today my heart aches ..dunno what this pain is.. and ppl say where theres no pain thers no gain... i'm feelign the pain but what do i gain?
1.a very good vocab of english
2. how to read a novel
as these. ohh no, u taught me how to be a frnd harry... the fun of teen life.. and i still owe u a hubndred of thanks.. will u ever show up again so that i can thank you??...
thats a never ending question!!
if you ever come i'll just say:

" I know you don't exist harry but still this hopeless mind does not seem to believe it.. u will always be there in my heart.. u will be there with me, i know u will, alwyas and froever.. no matter what happens..... and yes i promise.. when i have kids ( laughs).. amy when im 21, or 31 or 41 or wateva.. when when when... i rpomsie to make dem read harry potter- the boy who lived .

I'll miss you !♥ "