...........

I have very little words to say

the overheard words are just a bore to write, to type, to read too...

does it ever rain in vomber though?

i have very few words to say..

a doppelganger : duplicate (german)

I saw a doppelganger with a face that was unlike mine.. with a heart that was so much alike

I think I met my doppelganer.

The Lost Highway

The dead silence and the night is blind
My home perhaps lies far away
Road lies ahead and road far behind
My footsteps on this lost highway.

The cars and the buses are on a strike
No horns and roars do i hear
A lone ranger is on an endless hike
Bliss of solitude is all I bear.

No longer the street lamps are human slave
They don't burn their heart to show our way
Probably enjoying the ecstasy of the grave
While in darkness, I walk through the lsot highway.

Tonight I can live a dream to its depth
a dream that i had when i was young
Remembering the words of the ancient myth
I sing the glory of the vagabonds song.

Not a turn do I take , not an alley do i seek
Nor a friend to love, or a foe to hate
Enjoying the mysterious lush in the bleak
The darkness of night is my fate.

But soon upon the horizon as dawn arrives
and light slowly fades away the gloom
silently somewhere the enigma dies
ahead of me lies the world of doom.

Now I see the world from where i started
The usual traffic triumphing as ever
somewhere,somtime the lone ranger departed
as the lost highway was lost forever.

Caged

She is digging the grave of her own.
She piles the bricks, without a moan.
Above she sees the pillars so strong,
She knows that they would last too long.

She smiles and builds up her own cage
She knows it, yet no trace of rage
The cage is a tide of their comfort zone
While her euphoria drowns, leaving her all alone.

And the moon was gone, adn the stars above --
And the tress where sat the little dove.
Above she sees the pipes so strong--
She knows that they would last too long.

Too long to demolish desires and hopes, to be lost
To burn them on fire and imprison in the unbitten frost
And the people laugh, harder than ever
The moon, the sky, brings them no pleasure.

Do they not dream to touch the sky?
She thinks as within the growing cage she lies.
Above she sees the wood so strong
She knows that they would last too long.

And as it rains, her eyes open wide
the nature she adores
The concrete, she knows, will soon hide
The leaves of the tree shall bear raindrops, no more.

Once and for all she rushes away from the crowd--
she drenches and screams her wails, out loud;
hear the echo for one last time,
But soon the echo was turned into a whine.

nowadays, to the passersby, the echo remains unheard
No time to stand and stare at the caged bird
Too busy to look through the building, so dull
For them its just " another brick in the wall"

~~~ 4.4.08 ~~~

Caged

She is digging the grave of her own.
She piles the bricks, without a moan.
Above she sees the pillars so strong,
She knows that they would last too long.

She smiles and builds up her own cage
She knows it, yet no trace of rage
The cage is a tide of their comfort zone
While her euphoria drowns, leaving her all alone.

And the moon was gone, adn the stars above --
And the tress where sat the little dove.
Above she sees the pipes so strong--
She knows that they would last too long.

Too long to demolish desires and hopes, to be lost
To burn them on fire and imprison in the unbitten frost
And the people laugh, harder than ever
The moon, the sky, brings them no pleasure.

Do they not dream to touch the sky?
She thinks as within the growing cage she lies.
Above she sees the wood so strong
She knows that they would last too long.

And as it rains, her eyes open wide
pleasing her eyes, the nature she adores
The concrete, she knows, will soon hide
The leaves of the tree shall bear raindrops, no more.

Once and for all she rushes away from the crowd--
she drenches and screams her wails, out loud;
To hear the echo for one last time,
But soon the echo was turned into a whine.

And nowadays, to the passersby, the echo remains unheard
No time to stand and stare at the caged bird
Too busy to look through the building, so dull

----- 4.4.08 ------
For them its just " another brick in the wall"

~ Secrets ~

The silent whispers of the examination hall.
sometimes the teacher scolds, out loud,
as quiet as a library or noisy as shopping mall,
but pindrop silence when the principal is around.

A "tell me this" , a "tell me that" ---
A dry throat with two shining eyes,
tugging the shirt or a pat on the back,
One answer is solved, while another arise.

When the often the murmur is heard--
and the teacher asks " whats wrong?"
"I was asking the time" ,you lie to hide
But do another great deed before pretty long.

and finally when you coem out of the hall
a smile adores you face, with all answers right
Teacher wlaks up adn says ," could you answer all?"
You nod with a smile, keeping the secret inside.

[during the hindi examination if 2nd terminal.... i do not have much of those secrets but a little do i posess too].

As I lay dying

Knock kNock..... on the door of heaven
and the door is yet to open
Finally, one more step to go
Out as the last breath I blow
But is this right? I think
Is heaven the right place? I blink
As i lay dying...............

i can listen to the desires of the deaf
And for what the mighty sea craves
I can hear the song of the dumb
i can fell the sorrow of the numb
I can see the dark in sunlight
That tiny bit of wrong in the right
I can know why the moon shines at night
To help the lovers get out of sight.
i realise in life what a blind seeks
He seeks for lush in the bleak.
banging in my ears the cry of an angel
What lies behind that door to hell?

Sounds of guns. Blasts. death.
But no tears will anyone shed.
Not lives, Not souls, Not tonight.
Tonight the bulleets are killing just the human in me.

knock knock.. on the door of heaven
and the door is just to open
The last step and I'm going
out as the final breath I'm blowing
With the last thought i leave things apart
With the last blink My eyes are shut.
as here i lay ----
DEAD.

new year dawns down

New year is here.. with new hopes new resolutions new thoughts.
And there stands beneath a tree a young couple holding hands and making promises
To stand by each other , forever ..... together.
Off in the green meadow, though it is scarce these days
the young children playing and giggling of nothing..
It is smae for them.. as was eysterday, today is another enw bright fresh day... and ntn else..
And down the lane on this latest bike, theres the guy next door..
made a silent oath not to smoke again, hiding in the dark..
and here i am.. sitting here and typing all these...
my resolution?...
to be here and keep typing.... for everyone else to be there and keep living there lives..

2007 ....

I can see till the end of this highway
so calm so silent.. as it has never been before
By the time I reach the other end
2008 will be knocking at the door.

everyone, from the mysterious lane, where the darks dwell
from the smiling children in the icecream parlour
Till the olds and the lads in the park, silently breathes --
" It's gone again " , in a mere whisper.

FRustrated

YEs, I'm frustrated...
I am sick of hiding the truth.. i can't. I keep on smiling but late at night, as i try to sleep witht he pillows wet I feel i'm losing my confidence.. I"m not bold enough to say..
I feel guilty.. why why why why? i keep repeating again and again and again..
and when u get the result of ur neglection ur, i guess, nowhere..just one more aimless person roaming around.
And i forgot, how to have fun.. this is making me way mroe clumsy than ever. I have to say..
I do.. bcoz, this.. frustration will kill me otherwise...... really..
2007 wasn't too good.. but jesus why..??. i can't even cry.. tonight..

~~~ sohini ~~~~
" don't you cry tonight, coz theres a heaven above" --- is there really?.. help me to speak and deal with this plzzz... plzz help some1. please...

Numb

this is dedicated to my friend progna and some1 whom i never knew..
" the-guy-who-did-not-want-to-survive",....

"Never say never again
will i be able to keep that promise?" -
I wonder if I can say this ever again.
I don't want to take this journey.

Because I know,
Not anymore will the mountains be as highas they used to be
Not anymore , when i touch the snowI'll feel that chill in spine
Not anymore will there be a campfirewith you and me ,
maddening over the vodka..Not anymore....

But you will exist.
Don't worry, you're always safe in my mind.
And in the end, when i walk down the whirling roads of ra bangla...
Just cherishing a hope
In the tiny core of my heart
to feel your last breadth in the gentle breeze
to hear the echo of your last soung
In the hills n' mountains, about to freeze
Knowing that they are not waiting for me anymore..

I shall make a silent promise, in the silence of nature
Because, I know, promises are to be kept
" what ever I do, where ever I be
I shall never say never again"